You know you're from Poznań when...

Anulka

You know you're from Poznań when:

- you can use "tej" in a sentence but have trobule explaining its function to others

- you might owe somebody a mere 20gr and you will still remember to give it back to them

- you have never really seen Koziołki in action

- you think Stary Browar rules all

- you know what "szneka z glancem" is but never really call it that

- you wonder if people will ever realize that we don't actually speak a dialect

- you think that buses and trams in other cities look odd because they are not painted yellow&green

- you think yellow&green should be the only legal colors to paint buses and trams in

- you have at least once been thrown out of Pestka, in the middle of the overpass, because it broke down

- you know how the name Pestka originated

- you got drunk when they finally finished building Pestka after 20yrs of "construction work"

- you think "ostrzytko" and "skibka" are legitimate words

- you know that Poznań was once the capital of Poland

- you thought Malta Ski was an awsome idea because it was like having mountains in the middle of the city

- you twisted your wrist/finger/ankle skiing at Malta Ski and no longer think it's an awsome idea

- you feel very patriotic about Lech beer but never really drink it because Żywiec is just so much better

- you know that PO on somebody's license plate doesn't really mean they are a supporter of the Civic Platform

- you consider those round tram number plates simply adorable

- you can jump on a train and be in Berlin in a little over 2hrs

- you call Półwiejska street by its proper name - Deptak

- you have often wondered what Kaponiera means but never really figured it out

- you love meeting people from Cracow because you know an excellent conversation starter - oh, you say "na pole"? we say "na dwór", how funny is that?!

- you get asked by people from all over Poland to have mercy and bring them rogale marcińskie if you happen to go home around the 11th of November

- you don't think the word "pyry" is funny or weird

- you make "pyry z gzikiem" when you have no idea what to have for lunch

- you're very proud of your city because it is one of those four in Poland, that have a highway coming in and out of them

- you went sleighing in Teatralka when you were a kid

- you used to meet your friends at Teatralka when you were in high school

- you think zapiekanki from Teatralka are unbeatable

- you loved reading "Jeżycjada" because you knew where all the places were

- you know that Powstanie Wielkopolskie was the only successful uprising in Poland's history, while others may not even know it happened in the first place

- you went to Biskupin on a school trip and thought it was really boring

- you went on too many school trips to Kórnik and are tired of the Biała Dama story

- you know the difference between kurnik and Kórnik, and can spell both

- you think Warta is pretty damn wide

- you hate walking all the way from Stary Rynek to Kaponiera to catch a night bus (but you'll think twice before getting a cab... as you don't want to disappoint those who think we're stingy ;)

- you know it's not a good idea to be driving on Niestachowska street during rush hours

- you know the saga of the Kulczyk family

- you can't get over those hideous modern buildings in the middle of Stary Rynek

- you consider zoo smell in the middle of the city a perfectly normal thing

- you know that when you walk along Wierzbięcice you need to watch out for dog shit

- you know that Eskulap, Esku and SQ are the same trademark

- you think that going to Bema is really embarassing but you've been there at least once

- you know multiple Piotrs and Pawełs

- you feel like the whole country owes us for the Piotr&Paweł chain

- you know the name of the university is supposed to be pronounced [u.a.m], and flip out when others make it into [ułam]

- you comprehend the ugly gap in the facade of Kupiec Poznański but still can't get over it

- you consider the question "how are things in Pyrlandia?" oh-so- lame

- you turn off the light when you leave a room (not because you're trying to save the planet but because you suspect it might have sthg to do with the amount on your electric bill)

- you know that Malta isn't just an island in the Mediterranean

- you kind of miss it when you're away :)

And thanks to kind suggestions:

- you enjoy saying "wuchta wiary" and getting that wtf? reaction from people who have no idea what you mean

- at some point in your life, you were thrown out of the lawn in front of the Opera House

- you've been to Jarmark Świętojański at least once

- you call a stick figure "pamperek" instead of "ludzik" just to see confusion on ppl's faces

- you feel strangely prejudiced against the word "policja", a version of which is used by all the other civilized, European nations to desribe law enforcement officers. you'd rather call them "szkieły"

- you might occassionally ask ppl if they have hay on them. note: they won't know you mean money

- you have trouble masterng the "trz" sound, therefore "trzy" is just "czy"

- you keep wondering why Okrąglak still hasn't been added to the UNESCO World Heritage List

- you know you don't have to travel to Paris to go to Place Pigalle

- you know that Multikino was Poland's first multipex and you're damn proud of it! and Cinema City Franowo will always be Kinepolis (the biggest movie theater in Europe btw - Poznań represent! ;)

- you get annoyed when you order pyzy outside of Wlkp. and get those small Silesian nuddles instead of the real thing

- you use the word "ostrzytko" instead of "temperówka", and, as if it wasn't bad enough, you pronounce it "oszczytko". how are you ever going to sharpen that pencil?! ;)

- you go thorugh life without realizing that "odbić bilet", "nadusić przycisk", "zakluczyć drzwi", "tam do góry", "na szagę" and pytać sie komuś" are not utterances in proper Polish

- you know that "wyje bana w hujkach" isn't a profanity

- your bread gets cut into "skibki" and it also has little heels on both ends :)

- you know that Satan lives in Wilda

- you refer to Santa Claus as Gwiazdor because... well, dunno really, Santa is so generic? ;)

- you know that snappy dressers live in Mosina, while dorks inhabit Gądki

- you use "nie" as a substitute for comas and stops, and can stick it anywhere in a sentence, an unlimited number of times. It does not sound good :)

- you have been to a Lech Poznań game at least once

- you miss Bałtyk Cinema when you walk past the Sheraton Hotel

- you are sentimentally grateful for the reopening of Bogdanka, for it brings back all those lovely childhood memories

- you (a guy) find it entertaining to take a high-heel-wearing girl out for a walk around the Old Market Square, and watch her struggle with the cobblestones

- you (a gal) will never get involved with a guy who saw you wearing high heels, took you out for a walk around the Old Market Square, and watched you struggle with the cobblestones

- you know who a "pener" is and where to find one. or more precisely, where not to go if you don't want to run into one :)

- you can't get over the fact that they turned your beloved Kino Wilda into a crappy discount supermarket

- you would call someone like Jolanta R. a "bambera", and she wouldn't even realize you offended her :)

- you think that the adjective that best describes your hometown is "ezoteryczny"

- you spend your summer wknds trying to find a free plot of land by Rusałka or Strzeszynek, and pretending that being surrounded by rednecks doesn't bother you

- you need at least 10 seconds to realize that you actually know the directions to Plac Ratajskiego. It's Plac Cyryla people!

- as stated before, you do not speak a dialect. however, you do use a whole bunch of outlandish words, such as: klamerka, ćmiki, wihajster, dynks, tytka, klunkry, klamoty, szlauch, fyrtel, kejter, bimba, blauka, wajcha, glajda, kwyrlejka (also know as montefka, check the Wall for a definition:)

Voo-cash

za dlugie i chooyowe... chyba jedynie z Powstaniem Wlkp sie zgodzilem a reszta to goowno prawda....

kaja

A mnie się podoba!!!!! Mogę odpowiedzieć twierdząco tak na 98% z tego co przeczytałam (rzeczywiście długie)
Tylko jedno pyt: CZEMU TO JEST PO ANGIELSKU ???

ale jako "tru pyra" mogę dodać:

- you enjoy saying "DZIKA wuchta wiary" and getting that wtf? reaction from people who have no idea what you mean (or they DO know what you mean but would never say it themselves anyway;)

-you are extremely proud when your friends from outside of Poznań start saying "tej"

Aga

ostatnio usłyszałam "na placu ratajskiego" od kogoś z poznania.
potrzebowałam całej minuty...

Anulka

Po ingliszu bo z "fejsbuka". Ja też byłam w szoku, że tyle si ę zgadza, no może poza chodzeniem na sanki.

Qóba

"the saga of the Kulczyk family" wymiata (choć osobiście jej nie znam zbyt dokładnie).
Sanki na Tertralce rzeczywiście się nie zgadzają, ale i tak porażająca trafność.

Aga: I tak dobrze, że PLAC Ratajskiego, a nie tylko na Ratajskiego ;)

I jeszcze jedno: "nadusić" to można "guzik", a nie jakiś tam "przycisk". blee.

Voo-cash

apropo Placu Cyryla tez mi sie nie zgadza bo dla mnie na poczatq to byl to "Plac Pigala"

Cin

Ale z was ziemniaki!

kaja

Qóba

admina domina

Weź Cinek nie rób siary, tej!